Female customer: Excuse me, have you got a... (Bernard hands her a book) Oh.
Bernard: (To male customer) One for you too (hands him a book)
Female customer: How do you know what we want?
Male customer: We don't like the same sort of stuff anyway.
Bernard: You're going on holiday. You want trash. But you want different kinds of trash. (To female customer) You're a woman, you want social themes, believable characters. (To male customer) You, you want plots, suspense. This'll do you both.
Female customer: Hmm...
Bernard: (holds up another copy of the book) There's this temp, right? She's 29, she can't get a boyfriend, oh my god.
Female customer: Sounds great!
Male customer: No, no way.
Bernard: And she's got 12 hours to stop nuclear war with China.
Male customer: Great.
— Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey 'Black Books'